yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
