Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
