His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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