My nipple is on Facebook.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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