think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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