Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
