oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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