Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
