yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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