I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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