ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
