yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
