yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
