I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
