He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
