It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
