so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
