I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
