So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Small penises have feelings too.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
