You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
