So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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