tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
