Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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