we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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