I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
