While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
