We're facebook friends in real life
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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