Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
