i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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