so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
