all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
