she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
