I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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