Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
