I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
