Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
