why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
