nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
