Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
