i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
