I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We need to get me chipped asap
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
