The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
