My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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