Who did Billy Mays play for?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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