my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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