Screwed.edu
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
