u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
this will be a night to untag.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
