the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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