if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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