No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
