Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
